So, Slashdot linked to a “great piece” about how renewable energy won’t save us, because, you know, even if we build a Dyson Sphere, eventually, we’ll still expand to consume it all. And, really, worrying if a solution will work a million years from now is certainly the top priority for evaluating it, don’t you think?

I felt some summary and translation was in order. Here is Ms. Stover’s “great piece”, written to more accurately express her true sentiments and the origin of her beliefs. (Sadly, there’s no comment section on the article itself. Funny, that.)

“Beware, oh ye sinners! You who consume the flesh of beasts, you who buy trinkets of little worth, you who defile and despoil the Earth! Beware! Your times of joy and revelry will end! Suffering shall come, and pain, and torment, lest ye repent your sinful ways! Repent! There is no salvation in the sun! There is no salvation in the tides! There is no salvation in the wind! There is no salvation even in the poisonous fires of the atom itself! No, none! No salvation but the cessation of your sins!”

 

There we go. Much shorter, too. She should hire me as an editor.

 

Please note the date this strip was published. The next time someone (who probably wasn’t born in 1958) pulls out this cliche about “kids today”, point them to this. Then, point AT them and laugh. Or just quote Kipling. You can never go wrong by quoting Kipling.

The King

“Farewell, Romance!” the Cave-men said;

  “With bone well carved He went away,

Flint arms the ignoble arrowhead,

  And jasper tips the spear to-day.

Changed are the Gods of Hunt and Dance,

And He with these.  Farewell, Romance!”

 

“Farewell, Romance!” the Lake-folk sighed;

  “We lift the weight of flatling years;

The caverns of the mountain-side

  Hold him who scorns our hutted piers.

Lost hills whereby we dare not dwell,

Guard ye his rest.  Romance, farewell!”

 

“Farewell, Romance!” the Soldier spoke;

  “By sleight of sword we may not win,

But scuffle ‘mid uncleanly smoke

  Of arquebus and culverin.

Honour is lost, and none may tell

Who paid good blows.  Romance, farewell!”

 

“Farewell, Romance!” the Traders cried;

  “Our keels have lain with every sea;

The dull-returning wind and tide

  Heave up the wharf where we would be;

The known and noted breezes swell

Our trudging sails. Romance, farewell!”

 

“Good-bye, Romance!” the Skipper said;

  “He vanished with the coal we burn.

Our dial marks full-steam ahead,

  Our speed is timed to half a turn.

Sure as the ferried barge we ply

‘Twixt port and port.  Romance, good-bye!”

 

“Romance!” the season-tickets mourn,

  “He never ran to catch His train,

But passed with coach and guard and horn –

  And left the local — late again!”

Confound Romance!…  And all unseen

Romance brought up the nine-fifteen.

 

His hand was on the lever laid,

  His oil-can soothed the worrying cranks,

His whistle waked the snowbound grade,

  His fog-horn cut the reeking Banks;

By dock and deep and mine and mill

The Boy-god reckless laboured still!

 

Robed, crowned and throned, He wove His spell,

  Where heart-blood beat or hearth-smoke curled,

With unconsidered miracle,

  Hedged in a backward-gazing world;

Then taught His chosen bard to say:

“Our King was with us — yesterday!”

 

 

http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1958/03/11

And in other news, smokers who quit smoking will be assessed a fee to help counterbalance the loss of revenue from high cigarette taxes which they would otherwise have paid. Remember, there’s no problem that can’t be solved by raising taxes on *someone*!

 

There’s no comment section I can find on Seattle PI, so, here’s what I emailed in response to the imbecile who wrote this pathetic claptrap:

If violent media is “poisoning the nation’s soul”, then why is violent crime roughly half what it was in 1991? ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_the_United_States#Crime_over_time )

Games and movies and TV are more violent now than in 1991, we agree — and violent crime is *dramatically* lower, despite the economic problems that often cause an increase in crime.

It’s funny you don’t mention this, but you DO mention Dave Grossman. Let’s see, 14 years ago, we had a homicide rate between 6.8 and 5.7, as the 1998 figures aren’t in the chart I’m referencing. In 2010, as you see, we have a homicide rate of 4.8. This means Mr. Grossman’s predictions are proven wrong, and it takes <1 minute to find this out — but you fail to mention this inconvenient truth. Why is that?

There’s no comment section I can find on Seattle PI, so, here’s what I emailed in response to the imbecile who wrote this pathetic claptrap:

If violent media is “poisoning the nation’s soul”, then why is violent crime roughly half what it was in 1991? ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_the_United_States#Crime_over_time )

Games and movies and TV are more violent now than in 1991, we agree — and violent crime is *dramatically* lower, despite the economic problems that often cause an increase in crime.

It’s funny you don’t mention this, but you DO mention Dave Grossman. Let’s see, 14 years ago, we had a homicide rate between 6.8 and 5.7, as the 1998 figures aren’t in the chart I’m referencing. In 2010, as you see, we have a homicide rate of 4.8. This means Mr. Grossman’s predictions are proven wrong, and it takes <1 minute to find this out — but you fail to mention this inconvenient truth. Why is that?